


Hear Me, Seeing Through New Eyes

by Cheshire37



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:41:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21702400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheshire37/pseuds/Cheshire37
Summary: Lena's goal to fix mankind had failed. What she had risked everything for was gone. The partner she worked with had been hauled off. What did Lena have now? Facts and solid evidence was the only thing she would believe. So when a gift of the truth is left for her, what did she have to lose? Nothing could have EVER prepared her for this. (right after 5x08)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Wake Up Call

The office wouldn't be where she would occupy space today, or perhaps the next _few_ days. She was too hung over to care, nor did she want to _even_ do that. Instead of checking work or personal emails, she snatched her tablet, untraceable at that, loading it up to just fade away with a game or show, as long as she _felt_ nothing. The booze wasn't aiding to the migraine, but who the hell gave a damn? _No one did._ Once her lock code had been put in, she was shocked to find the most absurd screensaver-like background. Cursing slightly, she locked the screen, to unlock it again. Same bloody background. She was just about to say to hell with it and throw the damn device, until letters appeared as if floating around the screen. She tapped each one, quirking a brow when they quit moving after positioning themselves. When the last was tapped, the message was clear.

_**\- Message** _

_\- Your responses have been justified but have not. Rely on fact for your guide. -_

_Signed: AQDB_

She wasn't sure what to make of this, but then a shooting star flew across the screen, stopping at the top left corner and already irritated, she tapped that strange constellation file, warranting what was in it to play.

_*** * * Audio Recording 1:** _

" _As fascinated as I am about a dead guy with a tattooed heart, I am far more interested in hearing about your lunch with Lena. How did it go?"_

" _Uh...it was great." That came out a bit high pitched._

" _Uh oh."_

" _Great." Her voice was still high pitched, to a degree._

" _Oh, no. What happened?" The agent interrogation voice was present._

" _Nothing.." She spoke nervously. "I flew to Paris, Milan, Dublin, I got all her favorite things. It was..great." She sighed with a skipped exhale._

" _So why does it LOOK like you ran over a puppy?" Concern filtered through her voice, hinting sarcasm of a sister too._

" _It was nothing." The nervousness was still there, with a struggled laughter. "Really I..kind of..spontaneously agreed to..do a favor for Lena."_

" _Okay. So, what's wrong with that?"_

" _Nothing.." With that high pitch again. "..it just entails.." The deep inhalation heard. "Breaking into a secure army facility and stealing Lex Luthor's journals." She spoke quickly, without taking a breath._

" _What?! Kara, are you out of your mind?!"_

" _I just..blurted it out. I wasn't thinking! But, you should have seen how much pain she was in, and she's SO traumatized by Lex's death, and the journals are the only way she can find closure."_

" _No. You're going to call her right now, and you're gonna tell her that you made a mistake. You're not doing it." Her voice held that authority and upset at what was said._

" _No. I can't."_

" _No. What you can't do is break the law and steal federal property."_

" _Technically, I break the law all the time. I just broke into a super-max prison two months ago."_

" _Okay, that is totally different. That's to serve justice right? Okay. What you're talking about here is crossing that line for a friend." Anger was easily heard in her voice, filled with almost disappointment._

" _How is it different?" She scoffed. "She deserves to heal, and who would it be hurting? You know what? Brainy...just illegally hacked into security cameras at a nightclub to help me solve this Dr. Jarrod's murder. I don't see you scolding him."_

" _Totally different. But…yes, Brainy should not be using DEO tech to help you write articles. I WILL crack down on that."_

" _Just want to point out.." Sarcasm was thrown back, partnered with a 'Mom' voice. "..who do you think we learned all this rule-breaking from?"_

" _That cuts deep." She sounded almost hurt._

" _Whoa. That's Dr. Jarrod, with William Dey."_

" _And what would he be doing there?"_

" _Hang on. Let me zoom in. That's..the spider! That's the tattoo on his heart. Wha..what do you see? Do you know that woman?"_

" _No. But..I know those tattoos."_

_*** * * End of first recording** _

A second shooting star went across the screen, landing in the same corner, but under the first. She cursed again, this time in Gaelic, tapping on it anyway. Here eyes widened, hearing the conversation they had at the DEO, before she took her to a place she knew all too well now.

_*** * * Hidden recording** _

" _I want her safe Alex and it's the safest there."_

" _I know. Just be careful. Hey.." She slowly exhaled her concerns. "..how come I never got the tour?"_

" _Alex..." She groaned at her sister's comment._

" _I'm kidding. I know you trust her. I do too. Don't break any laws okay? Kidding sis."_

" _It's not just about stopping him. I want to share my home with her. It's as close to Krypton as I can give her. It's as close to home as I feel on Earth. You know that. If I can give her part of that, it's worth it."_

" _I know. Be careful. BOTH of you."_

_*** * * End of recording** _

That place was home to her, even if it was Kal-El's, it wasn't his but _her_ world honestly. it was a sacred, _PERSONAL_ part of her heart. A heart so pure, or so she thought. Conflicted by this, she watched another star shoot across the screen, landing in a different corner this time, there was nothing keeping her from tapping it. _What..did she have to lose.._

_*** * * Recoding: Video & Audio File** _

_Aggressive training between both women, every punch, kick, deflection, circling growing more brutal, especially by one side. Their moves were coming faster, stronger but still, she didn't relent. This wasn't training, this was fighting._

" _Again." The tone to her voice reflecting that more defensive, soldier posture. Even with the glowing green, she fought so much like who was teaching her. That tone, thickening with a slight hostility. "Again." Their facial expression, body language, was not of two that cared about each other, loved each other. They looked like two agents pissed off at things. She flipped who she was training with, as a grunt and groan weren't registering much to her as it should. The one on the floor rolled onto her back. She stood over her now, arm back fist clenched, but shaking. She couldn't hit her though. The one on floor kicked her hard and got up but so did the she, a slight growl coming through, along with that frustrating angered voice. "Again." Her fists were up she was ready to keep going. The other woman wasn't in that fighter stance._

" _Why did you hesitate?" She was breathing hard, fists still up._

" _We're just training. And you're my sister." The look on the agent's face hardened, almost appearing like an enemy._

" _What if I wasn't?" The tone was harsh, sounding like one. The fists, the arms came down as she walked passed her. She stepped down and cleared the green lighting. "What is going on with you?"_

_***Video feed ends, audio continues*** _

" _Nothing. I don't want to talk about it." Her deflecting was evident._

" _I think you should let us handle this."_

" _Don't..give me that line you've been giving me for months." It was a warning tone._

" _This isn't about being ready. Astra is your FAMILY. And I think, deep down, whether you want to admit it or not, you still care about her."_

" _I don't." Her voice betrayed her attempt at detached words._

" _Kara, this is war. And to win a war, sometimes an enemy has to die. Now, can you look me in the eye and tell me that you're prepared to kill?"_

" _Superman doesn't kill."_

" _If that's your answer, then you shouldn't fight her."_

" _It won't come to that."_

" _She has shown that she's ready to kill you. You HAVE to be ready to do the same. What do you remember about her? What are you holding on to?"_

" _Nothing. It's gone."_

_*** * * Third Recording** _

" _Wait." She tried to tell her._

" _Did you use me to get Astra arrested?" Her anger heard easily._

_\- AI: "Hello, Kara."_

" _DON'T say my name right now. Did you..USE ME to DRAW Astra out of hiding?"_

_\- AI: "Yes."_

" _How could you do that?" She started to falter in that strength in her voice._

_\- AI: "Astra had broken the law. You were the only person she trusted enough to meet. It was necessary."_

" _COULD she have SAVED us?"_

_\- AI: "She was a criminal."_

" _BUT WAS SHE RIGHT?!"_

_\- AI: "I'm not programmed to give you that information."_

" _TELL ME!"_

_\- AI: "I'm sorry, I'm not programmed to give you that information."_

" _YOU LET EVERYONE THAT I LOVE DIE! YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME ALONE! YOU SENT ME AWAY! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!"_

_\- AI: "I'm not programmed.."_

_She screamed, sounds of heat vision echoing with them, even as the sobbing began._

" _Hey, hey, hey. It's not really her."_

" _She lied to me." The sobbing, the sniffles grew heavier._

" _Kara, that wasn't your mom. You don't know what happened then. Only what Astra is telling you now."_

" _I know that Astra and I were both given life sentences by my mother. We didn't have a choice."_

" _Kara.."_

_*** * * End of audio recording** _

She set the device down, ready to pour herself another drink but went for saltines and a lemon-lime soda instead, to ease the upset in her stomach from the booze, burden and confusion. Once settled in her seat again, she picked up the tablet and went to the other couch, closest to the fireplace. The next recording was waiting, which had a filename: ' _BLACK MERCY'._

The audio recording had another familiar voice, one she knew all too well as well as the Artificial Intelligence voice. She listened attentively, feeling the weight of the emotion by who was breaking at trying to help who they loved. It was almost too much. These were becoming.. _TOO MUCH._

There was no shooting star across the screen this time, but an icon she knew all too well. She hoped this wouldn't be a regret later, tapping on it.

_*** * * Judgement Day** _

" _Ma'am, it's Supergirl. She needs to talk to you." The agent's voice, breathing, sounded so struggled, as if trying to sustain the last of oxygen._

" _Supergirl, what's going on? The Myriad signal is still escalating." She tried to sound calm, but was far from it when it was almost painful._

" _We defeated Non and Indigo, but..we can't stop the Myriad wave and we can't power the ship." She sounded so lost and alone. "I'm going to fly Fort Rozz into space myself. It's the only way we can get Myriad off the planet."_

" _That is not an option, Kara." Fear, nervous, just as struggled as the agent could be picked up. "Once you're in space, there's no atmosphere. There's no gravity. You wouldn't be able to generate thrust. You wouldn't be able to breathe..you wouldn't be able to get back."_

" _There is no other way." There was so much defeat._

" _No." She sounded so upset, even more scared. "I can have Max.."_

" _No, there's no time, Alex.."_

" _Kara, listen to me."_

" _I was sent to protect Earth and that's what I'm gonna do." Her decision had been finalized. "I need you to promise me something. I need you to promise me that when you find Jeremiah, you'll tell him that I never stopped wearing the glasses. He needs to know..that you and Eliza..gave me a great life. A life I never thought I'd be able to find outside of Krypton. He needs to know that..that everything good I did, it came from YOU being my sister." She told her, with the utmost conviction and gratefulness._

" _You taught me, Kara."_

" _I want you to have a good life. I want you to find love and be happy. I want you to do all the things that being my sister kept you from doing."_

" _Kara.." She was just as defeated, falling apart between words._

" _Promise me." She sobbed._

" _I can't.." Her voice and all of her was shattering._

" _I need you to promise me, Alex. There isn't much time." She pushed, even as she broke too._

" _I promise." She could barely speak._

" _Good. Okay. I have to go now."_

" _Listen.." She couldn't fight the decision. "I love you, Kara."_

" _I LOVE you."_

" _Kara?" She forced her voice to get louder. "Kara..?"_

_***silence*** _

_*** * * End of call: {Hidden Recording}** _

" _How is she Alex."_

" _What was she thinking J'onn? Why did she.." She was sniffling, crying, hurt and angry._

" _She couldn't say goodbye to you Alex. She didn't think she was coming back."_

" _What if I hadn't been able to fly her pod J'onn? What if I had failed her? She was..she was.." Her sobs were heavier._

" _I know. She didn't think about it, that night, when she saved the plane you were on. It was her heart Alex. Her heart has ALWAYS led her."_

" _Her heart wasn't beating J'onn! She wasn't breathing! I had been smart enough to bring a spare tank and my kit. But if I hadn't.."_

" _You knew what to do Alex."_

" _I almost lost her..again. What if..what if she doesn't wake up? I can't lose her. I can't." She could barely talk through the fearful sobs._

" _You won't. Stay with her alright?"_

" _Okay." She sniffled again. "When you wake up Kar..we are going to have a chat, you and me. I'll kick your ass later. Steal your potstickers.." She tried to joke then started crying again. "Don't leave me again Kara. Please sis...please don't leave me again. Stronger Together Kar. Please wake up soon. Please.."_

_*** * * End of recording** _

There wasn't any shooting star this time, merely a file named ' _TEST of TIME'_ and unable to stop anymore, she clicked on it, instructed to pair it with her smart tv. She did as instructed, yelling voice commands to the monitor, that turned on the TV, the speakers and pairing the device. When she looked down at the tablet, another message popped up.

_**\- Message** _

_\- Senses do not always provide correct stimuli. An aid for 'NAUSEA' is by the Espresso maker. Take two, then continue. -_

" _Bloody hell._ " She did as instructed, cursing in four languages with her accent coming out in spades, thickening while taking the two left out for her. She then wondered, how this person had not only hacked her system this thoroughly, but taken the time to provide her medicinal remedies too. The lemon-lime carbonated beverage was refilled, with the 2-liter brought back over along with a second glass with ice. She always knew everything she bought, groceries and such, online to be delivered. These 2-liters, two in the fridge and two beside it, weren't part of that. As curious as some part of her business mentality was, it faded in an instant, with the shakes that wouldn't subside, worsening when she spoke one word. " _Open._ " The glass she was about to take a sip from, slipped right out of her hand, dropping to the floor, covered with a plush rug at her feet. It was the _only_ thing that kept it from shattering. The mess of the soda long forgotten, replaced with a gut wrenching agony as if she was the one that had endured everything she was viewing now.

Three medical records popped up on the massive monitor, along with x-rays, scans, charts and so much more. She read over each of the three, looking at the bottom right and noticing the number. ' _Page 1 of 488'._ Each page held three files and their results. Each file was dated, earliest to latest. She used that absolutely intelligent, unbelievably _stupid_ brain to calculate it out. " _Oh...oh my god. That's..that's.._ " It meant there was _one-thousand four-hundred and sixty-four_ _files,_ give or take. Before the rest of her crumbled, she _HAD_ to know, against her better judgement, requesting files for that fateful night.

_*** * * Christmas Eve - Fight with Reign** _

The minute the records popped up, she slid right off the couch, now on her knees before the table with hands gripping the edge of hit tightly. Her entire frame shook with such violent tremors, she was almost certain every bone in her body was rattling. Out of two-hundred and six bones in the human body, one-hundred and one had been.. _broken._ The severity of the blow to the brain had left the hero in _a coma._ Seven units of blood _lost._ There had been forty units transfused in a span of six hours. Dozens of bones had to be reset. Intubation, by Alex's hand, had been the only way to keep her alive when she started to crash.

_*** * * End of seventeen pages of records** _

" _B..bring up..bring up.._ " Every wall had shattered within her. There was no holding anything in anymore. She _had...had to.._

_*** * * Audio Recording: 'Too Close'** _

" _What happened."_

" _Edge tried to poison her, it was in her coffee."_

" _Two-hundred milligrams of phenobarbital, stat." She commanded with authority, then calmed down her tone. "Come on Lena. Calm down, calm down." In a second flat, her voice returned to that of a Director's. "Two liters of saline, run it open. I want a radial artery line and two red dox."_

" _Blood pressure, 70 over palp. Pulse is 30 and falling."_

" _I need to know what poison he used."_

" _I..I don't know." Her voice was shaky, stammering even._

" _Mustard gas, cyanide, strychnine. Almonds. That's cyanide. Fifty mils of sodium thiosulfate. How long has it been?"_

" _Uh..about two, three minutes. She answered, nervousness filled with absolute terror._

" _Cyanide is circulating through her system. Her brain and heart are going to shut down. I need to slow down her circulation in order for this to work." She still sounded professional, but the fear in her tone was present too._

" _How do you slow it down?" The Super in her took over, steadying her voice._

" _Induce hypothermia."_

" _I can do it. Let me do it." She said, with determination verbally shown._

" _Hold on."_

_*** heavy wind *** _

" _Okay that's good."_

" _Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on Lena." She was pleading, praying for that miracle._

" _Normal sinus rhythm. You saved her."_

" _No, we did."_

_*** * * Several minutes pass** _

" _Kara? Kara wait.."_

" _Wait?" She was agitated, anger filled and frantic with nothing holding it in. "Wait?! He poisoned MY BEST FRIEND! He's lucky I don't do WORSE to him!"_

" _Hey! Kara, you don't ever.."_

" _It's different when it's HER or YOU! You KNOW that! I want to hurt him SO bad Alex. He..AGHHHH!" She howled, slamming her fist brutally into a solid surface with cracks easily heard, along with what sounded like a brick wall collapsing._

" _Whoa! No breaking my walls Supergirl! Come on. Training room."_

" _Alex.."_

" _Wait..WAIT!" She typed something in and two slams, not as loud, gave way of a door being shut. "You aren't EVER this.."_

" _He..poisoned..Lena." She hissed, growling and repeating. "He..POISONED..Lena!"_

" _WHOA! HEY! Cool your jets. You need to calm down. I can't have you out there with my agents, or me, hot headed. We will stop Edge. Right now, stay with Lena. She's going to have to stay here for a while. Stay with her. Okay?"_

" _I'm not leaving."_

" _Good."_

_*** * * Hours later on time stamp** _

" _Alex says Lena will wake up soon. I suggest she does that at CATCO and not at a super secret government organization." The Director spoke firmly, but with a caring tone._

" _Yeah." She barely said._

" _You did a brave thing back there, risking your identity to save her."_

" _Well, it was what needed to be done."_

" _Taking action as always."_

" _Not always." Her voice faded some, returning with a worried, fractured tone. "Reign and the other World Killers are still out there. Planning. And I'm just waiting for them to make their next strike." She barely spoke, with the volume just above a whisper. "I wish there was something I could do. Anything."_

" _Don't get ahead of yourself Kara. The World Killers will come, and when they do, I trust you'll be ready. Right now your job is to protect the people of Earth and be there for your friends. This world is a crazy place right now. People are acting, reacting, escalating behaviors. Like what Morgan Edge did to Lena. What our lawmakers are doing, sniping at each other, going round and round in circles. It's not doing any good. It reminds me of Mars before the civil war. But, like my father said then, there is great power in being the calm at the center of the storm. A beacon to show the way. Supergirl.." He calmly explained. "..is here to remind us on Earth about what's best in ourselves. That's what's most important. It's more important than if you ever were to catch another bullet." Heavy footsteps faded._

" _...not if..I can't stop..those I love from being hurt. Rao help me. Guide me. What good is being of the House of El, if I can't save my family, my friends..this home I love. Rao, watch over Alex. Watch over Lena. I will stop them. Even if it takes me walking in your light in the end..so be it. I accept it. Rao will be done.."_

_*** * * End of recording** _

" _How..many..Oh no. No..Please no.._ "

_*** * * Fortress of Solitude** _

" _Kara." Her sister said with shock in her voice._

" _It's the Fortress's defenses. Someone's turned them against Supergirl." He told her._

" _We couldn't reach you on comms. What happened? Are you alright?"_

" _I traced Rama Khan's energy trail here."_

" _I have to find Lena." She sounded frantic, nerve-stricken and intent on her mission._

" _What did Rama Khan do?"_

" _It wasn't him. It was Lena. She knew." That frantic tone grew, emotions partnering and overtaking her voice that held absolute shame._

" _She knew what?"_

" _My identity! She's known for months. Lex told her and she hates me for it." Her will, her heart lay in pieces through what she spoke about._

" _Lena's in Mount Norquay." He told them, composure evident._

" _Mount Norquay is one of Lex's old hideouts. Where are you going?"_

" _To FIX this."_

_*** * * DEO recording** _

" _Supergirl. Hey, did you find Lena?" Both the Director and worried sister shown through with what she asked. "What was she doing in Lex's bunker?"_

" _Brainy, can you get some line of communication to a bunker three miles below the Norquay mountain range?"_

" _Yes, but depending on the processing power.."_

" _Okay stop." She interrupted with bite. "Just tell me right now, when did Lex tell Lena your identity? And why was she attacking you in the Fortress? What the hell is going on?" She demanded with an assertive nature._

" _It was after Shelley Island."_

" _But Lex died there."_

" _No, he didn't. He portal'd somehow to a safe house where Lena shot him. She breathed heavily through her words. "She killed him to protect me, to protect..a..all of us. But before he died he told her."_

" _She's been lying to us for months." There was nothing but ice from her lips. "Okay, so why attack you now?"_

" _So she could steal Myriad from the Fortress." She told them, through shaky vocals._

" _Lena STOLE Myriad?" That staggered, shocked and rising anger was heard._

" _It's how I tracked her to Norquay." She defensively said. "But I don't think this is what it looks like. She SAVED me from Rama Khan in the Fortress. And even at Lex's bunker, the cannons were loaded with kryptonite, but she didn't use them." Her defensive tone hadn't lessened, but her emotions rang true. "I can still fix this. I can get through to her, if I could just talk to her." She pleaded through bubbling emotions. "Brainy, can you get me in there."_

" _We could harness the Kryptonian cache crystals we have here to covertly project a hologram beam into her bunker."_

" _Great." That side of Supergirl showed itself._

" _Okay, if not for mind control over the population, then why would Lena need Myriad?"_

" _I think I might know.."_

_*** * * Second, hidden recording** _

" _Hey. You okay?"_

" _No." She tried to say, in shambles that didn't sound repairable. "I couldn't get through to her."_

" _Sorry."_

" _You know, a part of me always knew that this couldn't be that easy." That relentless hurt kept pouring in. "And I get it. I fully understand why she feels betrayed. It's so hard for her to trust people. But I made her trust me. Over and over again, I made her believe that I was the best friend who would never ever hurt her." She wasn't able to control her emotions anymore, tattered too badly to do so. "And then she finds out in the most horrible way that our entire friendship was based on lies."_

" _Look, you were damned either way, Kara. Your choice to conceal your identity, it wasn't born out of a place of maliciousness. It was born out of love and compassion. And you were just trying to protect your family. And you were trying to protect Lena from people who could use that information to hurt us. And look, I love Lena, too. I am deeply upset by what is going on." That Attentive friend turned agent immediately. "But this..this isn't just two friends that are in a fight." Upset became a somewhat filtered anger. "This is someone who has turned a corner."_

" _No, but this is not her." She fought back, defending like she had when it came to Lena. "This is not our Lena."_

" _Well, who IS our Lena?! I mean.." She was pushing the issue even more, aggressively like an agent. "She knew that Lex was out of prison, and she said..nothing." Ruthlessness won over all other choices. "She kept Sam Arias locked in a sub-basement at L-Corp..KNOWING that she was Reign, and she said nothing." The anger was rising, as was her voice. "She knows how to make kryptonite, and she kept that hidden from us. Lena..is leading her own double life."_

" _You are making her sound like a Luthor." She protectively responded back._

" _Maybe that's because she IS one. We can't put our faith in some distant hope that she's gonna do the right thing.." A heavy sigh was heard. "..when every single action that she has taken up until now points to the contrary. Okay, we HAVE to stop her Kara. The safety of the WORLD depends on that."_

" _She's not Lex. I will not TREAT her like a villain." That refusal, in an upsetting tone, was that of Supergirl and NOT of the sister that was growling her words._

" _I know you won't. That's why I have to." She spoke, emotionless._

" _What are you talking about." There was an uncovered confusion._

" _When you went to speak to her, we used the hologram..to piggyback a virus into the bunker's mainframe."_

" _Alex.." Her gasp, the shutter and shock could be easily heard. "You u..use..d..d.. Me?"_

" _In a few moments, Lena's defenses will be down and Myriad will be stalled. By then, if we have to take more drastic actions, Claymore 3 is positioned above Mount Norquay."_

" _What? Oh.." She lost all the fight from the knowledge._

" _And I will give her time to surrender." She exhaled heavily. "Kara, we have to start thinking with our heads. Not with our hearts." It was solidified into the air._

_Sobbing, shaking apologies are left in the air and prayers to Rao...again.._

_*** * * End of recording** _

She wasn't sure how many times she had puked, barely holding on to one edge of the table. It _hadn't.._ been _her_ to betray her and give away the location. It had _been..her sister._

" _Oh..Kara. Rao of Krypton..keep her safe. Keep her safe..for..me..Keep her safe..from me."_ The barriers had ended. Every box had been torn open. What she tried to turn to ice, melted with the pain that wouldn't relent. Tears trailed down her face, even as she lay on the floor, curled tightly in shambles. She wasn't sure how long she cried, laying there like her entire world had been burnt to the ground with the ashes blown away in a frigid wind. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing did. _She didn't._ She wasn't sure if it was just her wrecked imagination, feeling strong yet gentle arms pick her up, even when that exhaustion took the last of her strength away. The warmth of the person was perfect. She let go, giving up, feeling a touch of pure sunlight and the crisp tinge of moonlight, whispering ' _thank you'_ to the one left to pick up the cracked pieces of what was left of her.

" _Always. I will...ALWAYS be here. I will never give up on you. Ever._ " She slowly lifted off the floor, floated towards the open balcony and flew out with her light in her arms. She made sure not to soar too fast, too rough or with turbulence. To keep her beautiful friend comfortable and warm, she detached her cape and wrapped the woman up in it tenderly. She remembered the cabin, once shown to her through photographs and a brief conversation as to where it was. Without that admittance, paired with the secrets she had kept from her best friend, She felt.. _wrong,_ with even more determination to make things right and fix these cracks. She _knew_ this was an opportunity for her to reveal everything that made her, that ' _Symbol of Hope'. Here..goes..nothing._ " _Rao, let her dreams be of my first home and share that life with her. Let her see through my kryptonian eyes. Let her hear everything I have enjoyed listening to. Let me not let her down again Rao. For Lena, my..BEST friend. For her Rao. Especially for her. Hear this prayer, this blessing. Rao, give her peace on this Earth for me and with me. As spoken by our people of Krypton. In the light of you Rao, I Kara Zor-El of the House of El, shall not fail you OR her. By this promise, this vow. Rao will..be done.._ " … _._


	2. Revelations Exposed

A part of her felt like this wasn't her place to do, but at this rate she didn't have anything to lose. She had been extremely grateful for the fact all television monitors in the cabin paired up to the ones at the woman's penthouse, which all she had to do was hit the right button on the one there, after flying back for a few things then returning to the cabin. There was no need to go through the personal device, having a remote to scroll through files anyway, without using voice command. She wondered if hers was still in the systems, even at the cabin, though she doubted that very much. Everything she had done, good or bad, wasn't enough or was _too_ much and she began to ponder her role in life. When carrying the woman she found curled up and shaking to now, where she was still sleeping off who knows how much hard liquor, she shut the door, but left it just a crack so as not to interrupt the rest obviously needed.

She began to take in each file name, curious as to how many there were, but noticed when she hit info on them, it brought up a date for those files. Without contemplating her actions, she clicked on one after checking on the date, taking a deep breath and just letting consequences be damned at this rate.

_*** * * Hidden Recording: Exodus** _

" _Thank you, for being understanding about this." Alex's voice held that pain, sorrow and furthermore, regret. "It means so much to me, that you believed in me. I'm sorry I scared you so bad."_

" _Are you kidding me? I ONLY almost lost you to some other galaxy, or who knows where that ship was headed! Look..I'm sorry. I don't..I was really..this terrified the hell out of me Danvers. I don't want to lose you to the comets and cupids or whatever that wanna kidnap my girl. I will say this, I was wondering how she could just walk out of here, like her body was fine. When you told me what she did, Fort Rozz was NOTHING compared to the size of that ship. Little Danvers is one tough cookie."_

" _Yet, she went home to stay with Mon-El.." Alex sighed heavily._

" _Well, he was comforting her, after that whole ordeal. Just like I did you. All's good Danvers."_

" _No, it isn't Maggie. There is something you need to know. I KNEW she wasn't okay! I just let her go, I didn't get to hug her. It's..so. It's.." She began to cry, sniffling easily heard. "..I didn't check up on her Maggie. And then she went to work. She went and lost her job. That job that gave her normalcy in her life. She nearly lost me, then she loses that? I accused her of so much. I made her question that she was part of the family after my dad came back! She tried to tell me. I pushed her away. I broke her and then..THEN she tries to comfort me. I hadn't even known..until the next day, that she had snuck in to use the sun lamps. An agent found her BARELY conscious Mags! They saw the rags of blood, but she caught him and asked him not to say anything. When he promised not to.." Alex sniffled, with her voice cracking more and more. "..but..when he went to, just check up on her, to see if she was okay, he found her out cold with an oxygen mask over her face and a spare tank clipped to the other side of the bed."_

" _Oh my god. What..is she, is she okay now?" Maggie's voice was riddled with worry._

" _I don't know. She won't tell me. Last time she flew up that high, it..it was when she flew Fort Rozz into space. I..I flew her pod into space and found her unconscious just..floating there. It was..I got her into the pod..I put a mask over her face and gave her fresh air, but..she wasn't..she wasn't breathing Mags. Her, her heart had. Itt had stop..pp..ped."_

" _Little Danvers was.."_

" _Yes. To save Earth. To save EVERYONE..she went to sacrifice her life." Alex was sobbing so much harder now. "I..I can't lose her Maggie. I just..I can't."_

" _Hey hey hey. Listen..okay? Kara's not going anywhere. I promise you that. She won't ever leave her big sister. Remember that. Okay?"_

" _Okay."_

" _C'mon. Let's go get Little Danvers hooked up with her faves and throw in a movie night too, okay?"_

" _Deal. Maggie?"_

" _Yeah?"_

" _Thank you. Thank you for..being here and being you."_

" _My Danvers girls need to have this big..okay short, fiery ass Detective on duty for you both. Let's get the hell out of this room. I feel like I'm in a fish bowl."_

_*** * * End of Recording** _

She said to hell with it, even though it was morning, removing the foil around the neck of the bottle, then unscrewing the lid. Her day was clear, both from two of them off and a check in with the second Director, requesting J'onn to cover while she was out, needing time away. She held the neck a bit tightly, showing the black cuff-like bracelet with two bands of glowing red sun rings and one thin band of green kryptonite around it to weaken her plenty and block her powers. The sounds of the city wouldn't be heard, or anywhere close to where they were, as long as she kept it on. Alex could kill her later for creating it, but it wasn't something she wanted to think about. It took it all away that made her anything more or _equal_ to what every human was. She didn't feel like any of that anyway. It dawned on her, what she was now drinking would hit her harder than usual, but _Rao_ would _hopefully_ forgive her. _Hopefully._

" _Sorry guys._ " She decided to play it safe, for some odd reason, setting the bottle down to go grab a tumbler from the shelf by the owner's little bar, quietly returning to the largest section of the sofa, missing the comfort, even at this location, but feeling unworthy of it all. Her own self-esteem had dropped to almost nothing, along with loneliness that couldn't be fixed. Unable to cease what in Rao's name she was doing, she found a rather strange recording, marked with a date she knew all too well. A date, that would _forever_ haunt her.

_*** * * Audio Recording: Project Justice** _

" _Hologram online and ready to commence." Brainy informed her._

" _Good luck." Her tone was stern, but of a sisterly one. Several sparks were heard then a rush before something was typed. In an instant, a crystal dome looking structure, nothing like the one at the fortress, covered the kryptonian, blocking out any outside interference, including voices or alarms. This included sounds within the dome too, being heard outside it. A voice more authoritative than before, ended that familial one. "Brainy, you can track her, correct?" A heavy sigh is heard from him._

" _What you are asking of me, produces a negative percentage Director Danvers. With that 97.6 percentage, against this request, is this something Supergirl would agree with?"_

" _I DON'T CARE if she does, or not! Do you have ANY idea what Myriad cost my sister?! Cost ALL of us?! To HELL with this righteous bullshit Brainy! I want whatever backdoor we can get, to jump into her systems, programs and whatever the hell else she has. Latch something onto everything she has dammit! Assault her operating system and unleash some wretched virus and leech the WHOLE mainframe! FUCK this consequence! I will NOT have my sister's life put on the line like Lena already did when she trapped Kara in that crystalized kryptonite hell! That, could have KILLED..MY..SISTER! I want EVERYTHING of hers destroyed Brainy! Hit the damn command or I WILL!" She was shouting, far too furious with a tone filled with disdain and a vengeful growl. "She wants to do that to my sister? Oh, you fucked, with the WRONG family bitch and you will damn sure pay..Lena Luthor. Way to act JUST like he did. Your actions will cost you dearly and then some. Kara may not harm you, but me? Oh you are going to WISH and BEG to be forgiven. I'm sorry Kar. I had to. Please forgive me. But..I..I had to. I had to because you can't. I won't have anyone breaking your heart the way she did, nor will I let her put your life on the line again._

_Kar, you were so terrified of her hating you sis. Well, NOW..she has MY hate. This isn't over. Even if you get through to her Kara. Even if you do, which I doubt because of her Luthor genetics, I'll throw her in a cell, shatter the bloody key and smash the control panel. Whatever lie I have to use on you Kar, I will, so she will never be near you or harm you again. If this doesn't work, Claymore 3.." Alex struggled to compose herself through heavier breaths. "I'll use Claymore if I have to Kara. Whether you or Rao forgive me. It's not just the fate of the world. For your life? Never again while I risk it all. For your life, I WILL..take..hers."_

_*** * * End of Recording** _

Everything good, everything hopeful and trusting, was _gone_ in an instant. The tremors were the least of the pain her body felt, gripping the tumbler so tight, that she didn't even need her powers to bust it. Without any will to stop the inevitable, she clenched just enough and with it, the glass she held, broke in her hand. When the tumbler cracked, then splintered, shards of glass pressed into her bare hand, nothing could be done and the sharp pieces split her skin and cut right into her. The pain only numbed her, even when some of it hit the marble and maple table in front of her. The sound alone would alert the woman in the bedroom and when she turned her wrist some to look into her hand, seeing glass stuck in her palm and how badly her fingers had been sliced, she just stared as if transfixed by the sight. Blood began to drip from her hand and hit the table along with the remains of the tumbler.

She couldn't hear anything for some strange reason, as if she had been struck with deafness and that didn't even matter to her. She couldn't even pick up the approaching presence, on who stood to the side behind the couch, still wrapped in her cape, but speechless at the sight. " _Th...the..mind wipe.._ " Just those simple words, brought that dreaded day back and with eyes shut, she both hoped to, but not to hear what came on. She hadn't even known that the day from hell, had indeed been recorded..

_*** * * Audio Recording: Fractured Minds** _

" _What we can control is her access to the information._ " _J'onn explained._

" _So, we wipe the minds of everyone at the DEO who knows I'm Supergirl."_

" _Just like with Haley, I'll go in and erase every memory they have that connects Kara with Supergirl."_

" _Are you okay doing that?"_

" _They've given their consent. They want to protect you."_

" _Okay." She spoke, barely audible._

" _I have to be mind-wiped, too." Alex's voice held such a defeated tone to it._

" _What?" Surprise and shock filled the word._

" _No, I have to."_

" _No, it's out of the question." Kara tried to fight back, fight against the suggestion._

" _Look, even if I could beat the Truth Seeker, there'd still be a danger that I would slip up, you know, with a text or just sharing information or simply the fact that you are my sister and I love you." She tried to sound reasonable._

" _So, you'll be smarter and more careful.."_

" _If Alex's mind isn't wiped, there is a 100% certainty that Haley will still discover your secret identity." Brainy explained._

" _I just came back from a world where you didn't know who I was. I'm not doing that again." Kara's voice held too much pain when speaking about the subject._

" _There's no other way."_

" _There is. You can quit. Just leave. Get out of there." Upset, anxiety and fear rippled through the agony of this situation._

" _Kara.." Alex started to say._

" _Haley's not a danger to you when you don't work there."_

" _I can't quit. You said it before. I have to stay, and I have to fight this from within." She told her._

" _Who am I, without you? The whole reason I became Supergirl was.." She was breaking, little by little, easily heard through the sadness in her words. "..it was to save you."_

" _And I'm still gonna be the reason. I'm still gonna be me." Alex said softly, with all the love she could muster. "And you're still gonna be Kara, my sister. I just..I won't know that you're Supergirl."_

" _I'll have to lie to you every day." She could barely speak._

" _It's not a lie. It's..it's keeping a secret. And I'm giving you permission." Her own voice broke, sharing that pain. "Now let me save you this time." The sobs from Kara were growing louder, heavier and suddenly it wasn't just hers being heard, it was Alex's too. It only grew worse from there, until Alex told her the last thing she did, before there was nothing left, of the recording.._

_*** * * End of Recording** _

She didn't know what came over her, reaching down for the biggest of the shards on the table. When she picked it up and squeezed it some, immediately there was a brief sharpness felt, once more she was hypnotised by the blood spilt. She stared at the end, like the tip of a sword and brought it to the hand with glass still stuck in it. Tears were running down her face like rivers, falling as the crimson did and begging to perish in kryptonese, to be sent to Juru, where she believed she belonged. Instead of her palm, where her first choice once was, she aimed higher, to where the bracelet rested and without conscious thought, pressed it in and slowly scraped from one side to the other. This flow of life, escaping her now, wouldn't be enough to erase her stupid, Rao, foolish choices, her cruelty she had brought on to someone who never deserved it in the first place.

" _Rao, my decisions..my selfishness. My beliefs._ _ **Khuhtive Jev..**_ _my..happiness..take it all. Take away my humanity. Take my powers. Take them now. Take them. Take me.._ "

' _ **This is what you wanted, right?**_

_**At least that's what I thought.** _

_**And now I'm running in circles, trying.** _

_**Nothing is ever enough..'** _

She lifted the glass shard then took it to the right side of the cuff bracelet, once a glimpse of home's sun and one painful reminder of her sins, she created and drug it across her wrist even deeper than the other one, not caring about herself anymore or what happened to her.

' _ **And everything is happening now..**_

_**But I'm still having the hardest time,** _

_**Hardest time..'** _

She had no idea how much blood she had lost, until her vision began to swim then blur and her head fell back, her body dropped back against the sofa with her strength fleeing her. The biggest and sharpest piece of the tumbler slipped from her hand, caked in crimson while she slumped to her side and blackness ceased her completely. ' _Darkness. Sentence..Rao..cage me..'_

' _ **When all you see. is the tide going in and out.**_

_**The in between..** _

_**The pushing pull, holding you down.** _

_**You're feeling tired..** _

_**..oh oh.** _

_**It's getting harder and harder..** _

_**..oh oh.** _

_**Keeping my head above water_'** _

" _KARA!_ " She snapped out of the frozen state she had been in, rushing to the kitchen only to find everything filled, gasping at what she saw, then shaking her head to clear it back to the task at hand. " _Ná fág tú mé._ " She tried not to unleash the tides of emotions, but it was growing harder and harder to do, even as accented as her Irish came, begging Kara not to leave her. " _Moron damn fuilteach._ " She cursed, once more in Irish, her own absent intelligence, ran for the bathroom and grabbed towels, hand-towels, wash cloths, the first aid kit and peroxide. Her attention was on the one bleeding on the couch, on the floor and unconscious, pushing the table aside some and dropping everything on it and the ground. Her training fled as if she never had any of it before at all. All logic, those hints of bravery, were gone and she doubted they would return anytime soon. " _Phone..c'mon phone.._ "

Her body was betraying her at every turn, making it nearly impossible to get anything done or help the hero who was far too close to a dire condition that could result in the negative point of possibly _NO return._ " _Phone..I.. uh… ..come on..or..ORION!_ " Her screamed command was met with a screen no longer of Nebula, that no doubt had been the gift and curse from Brainy. He _had_ to be the one behind this. Regardless, the right one came up, in Gaelic written specific icons just like apps on a computer or phone screen. Her home, well homeland background was on it, but to Lena right now, it was anything but that. " _Come on..dammit. Pull yourself together Lena! Dammit Kara! ORION, patch me in to..CONTACT ALEX DANVERS! CALL..ALEX DANVERS! NOW!_ "

She forced herself back onto her feet, finding that footing and running for the bathroom, profanity once more escaping her lips, at her own stupidity, backing up, stumbling forward then righting her balance to run into the kitchen. She knew she had a washing basin under the sink, well she hoped anyway. Surprisingly, opening up those cabinets, she found three, all in three different greens that reminded her of Ireland. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, while trying not to let her nose run anymore from crying, she yanked all three out and rushed back to her best friend's side.

Kara had stood up for her, when no one else would. She had promised to always be there and almost always was. And _this_ is how she had repaid her. She wasn't sure how many times she had to end the call and call again, but she never got through. It dawned on her, right then and there, that the Director had probably blocked her number and honestly she _should_ have seen that coming.

She was shaking so damn hard, unable to stop the trembles that seemed to worsen as time passed. " _Get it TOGETHER dammit!_ " If this was the self-talk she needed to pull her head out of her ass, set it on straight and focus, so be it. She knew first things first, was to pull the hero off the couch slowly and lay her down flat. The table was going to get her wrath today, as she shoved the damn thing away from them even further. With the floor clear enough, she knew that it was safe to somewhat lift her off the couch and bring her down onto the rug. Gradually, she set her down and snatched a pillow that wasn't caked with crimson, sliding it under Kara's head. " _Alex won't answer! You TRAPPED her sister in kryptonite! You used her! Dammit..I..I used them all. I..Alex, please answer. Please! Just this once. PLEASE!_ " Having a breakdown wouldn't help right now, when it took away time she could use to help her best friend, she hoped to keep but then again, her sister would probably have her body hacked up and thrown into several active volcanoes if she had her way. " _FOCUS! Focus._ "

As stable as she could, after running to the sink, she came back and carefully set the basin now filled with hot water down, setting three washcloths in it. She laid a towel under each of the hero's arms and then rolled up one of the bigger hand towels and gently rested Kara's still bleeding wrist and hand in much worse condition on it. As tenderly as she could, after grabbing one of the washcloths and wringing it out some, she dabbed the wrist first, cursing in several languages at the horrid cuff-like black bracelet with two glowing red bands and one hideous green one on it. It was then, she realized, after hissing at the kryptonite ring there, that even though the reds looked like stones or crystals, they were actually tubes of red sunlight, masked by the coating over the ring-like bands. The yellow sun of Earth that powered a kryptonian's body was now Krypton's reminder that infused the bracelet. Kara had taken the yellow sun and _bloodied_ it for herself in Lena's eyes.

While she tried to wipe the tears and runny nose away, working to clean up the cuts on Kara's wrist as best she could, after using a washcloth soaked with a wound cleansing solution and warm water, she carefully wrapped them to focus on that hand next. She used a baster with the same mixture inside to splash on it slowly and wash off enough of the crimson to see where the worst of the glass pieces were. " _Jesus._ " Some of them were _deeply_ in the palm. She slowly inspected each finger, merely seeing a bunch of miniature fragments in them. Particles were the least of her concerns at the moment. The wrapped wrist held for now somewhat, which was slowly showing the red she feared. She shook it away and used the same solution, sucking up more of it and gently splashing it on the other hand. It wasn't nearly as bad as the first, but still, the crimson hadn't completely stopped yet.

" _ORION has intercepted an incoming call for Lena Luthor. Shall it be approved and patched through?_ " The computerized voice spoke. If there really _WAS_ some damn higher power, it had come at _JUST the RIGHT moment._ " Shaking her hand to steady it for the task at hand, she held onto the longest tweezers she owned, after clicking on the spectrum light that would cause the glass to glow, that she oddly had in her kit. _Go figure._ After a few _personal_ instances, with a foot full of it that she hadn't remembered breaking at her penthouse, no doubt the reason of the hangover too, she had ordered some products and tools to keep in her first aid kit's second tray. Cursing in Irish then English, like a repetitive habit, while carefully, now with much more steady hands, grabbed onto the pieces and pulled them out of Kara's hand.

" _Patch the caller through! IMMEDIATELY!_ "

" _Documented, is my approach to contact Ms Lena Luthor. If my statistical analysis.._ "

" _BRAINY! SHUT! UP! PLEASE!_ " She practically screamed into the air, trying to shake off the returning tremors, by the contact and his verbal antics.

" _My apologies Ms Luthor."_

" _It's Lena, Brainy._ I need you to get a hold of Director Danvers. _Pronto._ "

" _Ms..Lena, the statistics past ten percent that she would respond are.._ "

" _KARA'S HURT! BADLY! I didn't hurt her okay?! It WASN'T me! She..she hurt..herself. Please..please Brainy. Please..ge..get Alex. Please._ "

" _Ms Luthor._ " She _knew_ that voice. " _Brainy patched me through. Your location is on the outskirts of National City isn't it?_ "

" _It's.._ " Between the smell of blood, the nausea from the liquor still residing in her body and revolting against her, the tattered remains of her sanity and overwhelming emotions, Lena knew that she was so very close to passing out from it all. " _J'onn..help..cabin. Please..hur..ry.._ "

" _Lena. Reach out. Think of this cabin of yours. Picture the outside and surroundings and hold that image. Lena? Ms Luthor? Lena? Lena, are you there?_ "

" _Th..chri..istmas..e..eve. Sh..she fell. Ka..ra.. ..fell. Sh..show..night. Showed... light..t..Ka..ra."_ Her voice, so quiet, barely reached the mic, but it was enough to issue the command.

The last image, to pop up when she accidentally hit something on her tablet, along with what she said, was momentary footage, with a necklace carefully removed from around Supergirl's neck, after the World Killer Reign had nearly ended her life for good. The pendent from her mother and a celtic knot pendent with a sun stone set in the center and an infinity knot under it, given to her by none other than her best friend, for their first new years they celebrated with laughter and stupid games, but together. Even under her suit and the crest of her family, she had _chosen_ Lena to be a part of that.

Her body was on her side, facing who she had tried to take care of before exhaustion clung to her, and tugged her down into that unconscious cage. The hero wasn't out of that crucial state yet. But with Lena's help, she had a fighting chance to possibly not be scarred for life at least, on the outside. _On the in? Their scars..BOTH ran deep. Shared, even when they were able..to SEE..through each others darkness._

" _Rao.." they sent with the last of conscious thought and heart trying to find the will to reach out right, "take away my..best friend's..scars.."_

* * *

Every ounce of her body couldn't rid itself of the trembles, nor would her mind ever be clean from the crimson life covering her hours earlier. Her hands were stained with the blood of the one person who believed in her, trusted her and stood up for her most of all. Lena wasn't sure what was left in her stomach, or if just bile, but regardless, she was ready to puke again from everything that had transpired. No amount of solace, words or comfort could rid her of the demons that plagued her now. They were permanent, a solid cruel and justified reminder of her actions that cost her everything and everyone, possibly for good. So she believed, when the one person, itching to tear her limb from limb, entered the conference room only to shut the door after speaking to two of her agents that would keep watch and notify her if necessary.

There wasn't a single drop of emotion in the Director's face, proving Alex Danvers too could wear the mask she knew all too well. She dared not speak, knowing anything said could unleash this far too terrifyingly calm and collected individual's wrath. Instead, a small black box and cord had been placed in the center of the meeting table. She had no idea what it was, but it brought a heavy ruthless icy shiver down her spine, watching as it was plugged into the triangular speaker usually used for meetings, strategic outlines and training, among other things.

"Once Brainy began to train with Dreamer, sometimes J'onn and Supergirl, he made some adjustments, added his own knowledge to the database and updated the Fortress' media." The tone of her voice, had her swallowing down the lump in her throat. It was as if they had traded places and Alex had become the CEO who also held herself to the highest of business standards, showing not one bit of weakness or give. She had always perceived the agent as tough or harsh, aggressively calculating and stern when she had to be. She knew the grade of expertise through bio-engineering, alien physiology, not to mention a basic encyclopedia for weaponry of almost any kind in that mind of hers. But _this?_ She was as good as a wood chipping experiment now.

The minute the device was turned on, she suddenly wished to be hacked up whether excruciatingly slow as she deserved, or taken out by the bullets meant to end her existence. This punishment was _far_ worse. Director Danvers, had _every..single..thing..said. Right..there.._

_*** * * Audio Recording: Frigid Result** _

" _Wow! This is..breathtaking." Her amazement was easily heard._

" _It's our Krypton on Earth." She was so relieved, so happy to share it._

" _Intruder! Intruder!" The automated voice spoke after a heavy rush of wind filled the air._

" _What's happening?" Her tone warranted nervousness._

" _Luthor DNA detected. L-Protocol engage." Once more the automated voice came through._

" _L-Protocol? No. No, no, no, no!" Kara began to panic._

" _Luthor, relinquish your kryptonite ring and your transmatter portal watch immediately." It demanded._

" _I don't have a ring or a watch. I'm not Lex!" She yelled._

" _Hand over the weapons at once, or the Fortress will take offensive action in ten seconds."_

" _She's unarmed!" Kara shakily spoke, her voice rising in volume._

" _Ten, nine, eight.."_

" _I'll fix this." She told her._

" _Seven, six, five.."_

" _Come on, come on." Fear and nervous were evident as she spoke._

" _Four, three, two.." The alarm ends, with a heavy sigh from Supergirl. "L-Protocol terminated."_

_*** * * Paused Recording - (fast forwarding)** _

She wasn't sure if she could get a word in edgewise, no doubt considering trying to anyway. However, one solid downright dangerous, deadly focus _completely_ on her, gaze, retracted all thought to open her mouth at all. There was no chance in hell, which is where Director Alexandra Danvers would send her in an instant, to defend herself, though an apology sounded like the better option indeed. It was clearly evident, when this eerie composed soldier brought a finger to her lips, pressing the button she had once before.

" _Thank you, for saving me back there."_

" _I shouldn't have had to, but it does seem like dangerous saves are sort of our thing now."_

" _Yeah, it does." She chuckled. "Of course, it used to be me being the one that's saving you. Imagine, I thought I was protecting my fragile, vulnerable friend."_

" _I'm so sorry." She spoke sincerely._

" _Remember when we went to Kaznia and the jet was crashing? And I was frantic to try and save us, desperate to save my friend before myself.." She said somewhat excitedly. "..little did I know that, that friend could actually fly." She told her, sounding both sincere while pushing guilt onto her._

" _I'm so sorry I put you through that." Kara's guilt was there, showing in spades, so tremendously through her words._

" _No, it was impressive, how often you saved me without me realizing.." Her voice changed, to an impressed yet almost sarcastic tone. "..I mean, you're an excellent actress."_

" _Telling you the truth was such a relief, and I'm so glad that now we can be honest with each other and all of that is behind us." She released happily through that confession._

" _Me too." Lena told her._

" _It's this way.."_

_*** * * Paused Recording - (fast forwarding)** _

" _Blind..trust._ " The Director chose to sit _on_ the table, versus one of the chairs. Furthermore, it was merely two of those seats over, with her sharp cold chestnut hues stone to their intended target. _Her._ " _Unbridled declaration._ " Lena squirmed in her seat, the minute the gun attached, well one of two attached to her hip was removed from the holster. She knew it wasn't the alien one, cringing when she recognized the quality of it, the design and the grip. She had _made_ that for Alex, as a birthday present. "Remember that glock you designed yourself Ms. Luthor? That _wonderful_ RWR with its _darling_ 4150 muzzle velocity? _Do you? I do._ "

Sure enough, the magazine was released as it dropped into her other hand, while she set the weapon down. Nervousness couldn't even come close to what she was feeling, watching when the Director popped each round out of the clip and stood them up in a straight line by the firearm. Once all projectiles were accounted for, she shivered again, unsure how many times it had occurred, when Alex leaned over, pressing that dreadful button.

" _Thank you. That's all we need." She told the mainframe. "Well, we better get to the armory. If there are more of these aliens, we're gonna need a really big gun." Supergirl spoke, not the timid gentle Kara Danvers._

" _We should warn Brainy." Lena pointed out, with a higher pitch than usual._

" _Yeah."_

" _Do you mind if I do it? I've never interfaced with a quantum processor before. It'd be a bit of a thrill." She said, with excitement in her voice._

" _Knock yourself out." Kara chuckled._

" _Done. Let's go." That same high pitch, almost rushing the topic…_

_*** * * Paused Recording** _

" _Sooooo._ " She felt her throat painfully dry as if it was a desert during the hottest temperature of the year, eyes fixed on each bullet loaded back into the clip, slowly, bone-chillingly menacing in its nature. "If I had to guess.." Three rounds packed. " _..this_ is when you _fucked_ with the system. _Yes?_ " She simply nodded, trying to swallow down every wrongdoing she had ever displayed and carried out, feeling them push up and gather into one poisonous course of bile, that all her body wanted to do was eject and no doubt would accomplish that feat soon. If this was what purgatory's wrath looked like, Alex Danvers had all the power over her in every sense of the word. " _Let's..see._ Or should I say, _hear._ "

" _That gun is so tiny." She said._

" _Yeah, Lex designed that, to fit under his many human hair wigs." Lena explained nonchalantly._

" _Ugh." Grossed out was evident in the word._

" _So, yeah. Right, so the computer said we need to look for something that will hurt Kryptonians." Businesslike spoken, just like the CEO was used to. "There seems to be, a lot of that in here.. What's this?" She asked._

" _THAT is Myriad." Kara's voice slightly raised, fearful in it's tone. "My..my family created it." Shameful, regretful._

" _I think I was still in Metropolis when Myriad hit." She mentioned. "The news footage, though, it was pretty horrific." Lena added._

" _And reality was even worse. My Aunt Astra and her husband turned all of humanity into mindless zombies in less than a second." She shuttered through each syllable. If there is one weapon in this room I could destroy, it would be that one." Kara's fear was picked up through the space they were in.._

_*** * * Stopped, before next recording..** _

" _Imagine.._ " The clip was filled, but when Alex reached behind her, three more clips, _each_ with _different_ projectiles that _SHE made,_ were lain down by the first. Her eyes grew as large as humanly possible, with that bile rising higher. " _..how dumbfounded.._ " One of the clips, the magazines as she called it, was picked up, as was the firearm, with that object slapped into chamber to lock into place. Once more, the gun was set down. " _..how..perplexed.._ " The Director leaned over, which she hadn't even seen her move, until she was _right_ in front of her face, mere inches from it in fact. " _I was._ " With perfect aim, one arm swung back with a knuckle hitting the button all she wanted to do was blow up, at this rate.

" _Lena?" She called. "Lena?" A little louder. "Lena..why do you have Myriad?"_

" _Well, you caught me." Her voice held nothing, not one ounce of emotion. "I have Myriad because I'm using you..like you used me."_

" _I never used you." Kara's tone, held nervousness._

" _Do you remember when you finally told me you were Supergirl? You were weeping. Big crocodile tears." She pushed on. "Well, I wept real tears, bitter tears over you weeks before." Lena explained, painfully._

" _What? I..I thought.." She gasped. "How long have you known?" Shock, uneasiness apparent._

" _I found out the day I killed my brother." She confessed._

" _Lena, you didn't kill Lex, that was me. I..I watched him..I saw him fall."_

" _You saw him fall, but did you see him land? Did you see him die? I did, and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty."_

" _That's impossible." Kara tried to reason._

" _Anything's possible when you're a Luthor. Lex used his trans-matter portal watch. I knew exactly where he'd go." Lena continued. "To the cabin we loved when we were children, so I was there waiting for him. I had the gun ready..loaded." Normal, not even phased while she spoke. "I could feel the weight of it in my hands. Every fiber in my being rebelled, but I.." The emotion began to show. "I didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to because if Lex lived, the world wouldn't be safe, my friends wouldn't be safe. So I forced myself to pull the trigger." Her nerves, anxiety heard. "I shot my own brother in the chest. His final words to me were..that I was a fool, that my best friend, that every friend I had was lying to me. With his dying breath, he told me, that you were Supergirl." Agony, reckoning..pain._

" _Lena, you have to believe me, I never meant to humiliate you." Kara tried._

" _No. When I came to this city, I promised myself that I would never trust anyone again, and..then I met you." Lena's words; sadness, hurt. "You chipped away at my armor with your warmth and your earnestness, and you convinced me to trust in people and friendship again, and against my better judgement, I did, all the while telling you about my Achilles heel..betrayal." There was nothing to stop her. "I confided in you that everyone in my past had betrayed me." Her voice shook, growing more and more struggled with emotion. "About how much it hurt..to have someone you love lie to you and betray you. I spelled it out to you over and over again, essentially begging you not to violate my trust, BEGGING you not to prove that, once again, I was a fool. You reassured me 'ad nauseam' that you would never lie to me, that you'd never hurt me." Lost and layered with more and more pain. "And all the while, there wasn't a single honest moment in our friendship."_

" _No! No, that is not true." Kara pushed her vocals with just as much pain with their volume._

" _NO! I KILLED MY BROTHER FOR YOU, FOR OUR FRIENDS! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!" Lena screamed through tears. Kara sniffled, gasped and tried to understand herself._

" _When you found out, why didn't you come..to me right away, so I could explain.."_

" _Explain?" She fought to say. "Yeah?" Lena somewhat asked, with a heightened pitch._

" _If you hate me so much, why..why not out me at the Pulitzer party?" Kara breathed out heavier. "Why pretend to still be my friend this long?"_

" _Because I wanted you to experience what you did to me." Lena threw back at her, all but a whisper some. "Feel what I felt." Absolute sadness heard. Kara gasped, struggled to breathe._

" _I understand your pain and your fury and..And you're right." Kara confessed once more through that guilt. "I made a BIG mistake, maybe the biggest mistake of my life, but please..Lena, please don't leave the Fortress with Myriad." She attempted to reason with her again. "Please don't let my mistake push you to do something terrible. You are a good person."_

" _No! No, you don't EVER get to tell me who or what I am again."_

" _INTRUDER! INTRUDER!" The automated voice barked. A rush of wind, the same noise when Lena had been stopped and covered in the shell. Supergirl grunted._

" _Did you reprogram the Fortress defenses to attach me?" Kara panicked, grunting again, breathing harder._

" _Yes." Lena answered with a frigid calm tone. "And I rigged it to answer to this little button I have in my hand._

" _Are you going to try to kill me?" Kara fearfully asked. Lena scoffed._

" _No. Supergirl, I'm not going to kill you." She said with a low volume to her answer. "I'm not a villain." A slight beep filled the air. "You shouldn't have treated me like one." Lena tried not to cry with her last words._

_*** * * Paused Recording** _

Every cell in her body seemed to quiver, her entire frame sentenced with heavy tremors. When her emerald, almost kryptonite shaded eyes met those stoic browns earthy and solid, Lena knew there was a possibility that her entire life was over and if she wasn't thrown into some dark hole to rot and whither, it would be one of those bullets if not several for Alex to decide her fate. Either way, _this_ was it.

"I've got, some _heart..shattering..news, for you Luthor.._ " The button was pressed once more.

_When she started to sob heavily Kara was practically hyperventilating, gasping for clean air. Every grunt grew heavier, laced through whimpers and struggled breaths._

" _Lee..na..please.." Kara's voice wasn't anything close to steady. "No..not..don't darken. PLEASE! Please..don't.." A hum was heard. "Dark..cold." Her words, barely audible. "Rao..help..her..see. Go to her. My..light..gone. You're right." She pushed the volume in her voice. "I..deserve this. Hate me..please. Please hate me, then use Myriad." Her strangled gasp took from her the last of her abilities to speak. Kara did nothing but cry, leaving only the sound of her heavy wrecked sobs left in her tormented piece of Krypton._

_*** * * End of Recordings** _

" _Oh..god._ " Lena forced out, jumping in her seat when Alex took the butt of her firearm and slammed it down on the box, ripping the cord out and chucking the device across the room. She released the clip that had been in the chamber, catching it and setting it down. Each magazine was lined up just like she had the bullets, until one was chosen then rammed up into the chamber. Once more, they were lined up. Her eyes followed the Director's movements, when she slipped off the table and stood now while reaching out and twisting the seat she was in. They were face to face as the emotionless woman leaned forward some, bringing both hands rather close to her head. The clip was released, caught then turned. If it hadn't been shocking enough, horrific in fact, it was the well hidden unhinged masked temperament showing most of all, when that clip was turned and she saw what was etched nearly burnt on one side, she knew she only had seconds before the bile set it's last course for her to puke before the _'Punisher._

" _You..recognize..those pieces?_ A rook. A knight. A bishop and a queen. I had the queen, _especially,_ filled with the color of crimson, like blood. Truth is, Lena Luthor, that the paint is actually _my_ _OWN_ blood, mixed with an oil based paint then sealed in four layers so it wouldn't scratch off."

" _Direct..I..Alex.._ " The tears rolled down her face, knowing this game, a master at it but against Director Alexandra Danvers, one of the deadliest highly skilled agents of the DEO, she stood no chance in hell and for that matter, she had been utterly checkmated.

" _Truth is, Lena.._ " Suddenly, the mask was gone, the gun and clip set down and pushed away, only for Alex to take up the chair next to hers and turn it to face her once more. " _..this..what you did.._ " They were both crying now, though before her was the woman who looked almost defeated, tried to continue without falling apart. " _..you.._ " It was as if they were both trying to gather their composure, failing miserably at it. "She saved you, as she saved me more times than either of us could fathom to count. Yet, you saved her with an almost dedicated, determined and focused conviction. Without even knowing, without even pondering, you did so. Everything you made, to stop the worst of enemies from ending us all, hell ending her from the agony of a long painful demise, you did with a heart that she always and _will_ always see and fight for."

" _Alex, I.._ " She just shook her head.

"Say it, to _her._ We have a problem. It's up to you if you wish to help with it. Only Kara and I know that it was you that was responsible for Myriad. Brainy knew, but he erased it from his memory bank. No one else _will know._ " She wasn't certain what to do, how to act or hell what to say with this information. "She isn't healing." This leader couldn't hold back tremors that now raked her frame. "We.. _we.._ " With some form of hope, something Kara had taught her, and a courage mustered up she reached out and took one of Alex's trembling hands.

"Breathe, then tell me Alex." Their eyes met and this time, browns were watery with pain and fear.

"We can't get the um.. _the..thing..off..her wrist._ " Immediately her eyes widened.

"That _putrid, dreaded, repulsive, evil..abomination._ " She snarled, hissed and seethed all in one. One nod confirmed it all. "What has been done already." She listened, cringing when possible resolutions, attempted and failed, were listed, one after the other. When she pulled the torn up agent to her, putting her arms around her as her best friend had done for her countless times, it was as if she was seeing through Kara's eyes. Was _this_ what it was like for the selfless blonde all the time? If it was, Lena had a lot to learn. Once they had shed enough of those tears, fears and sadness away, they helped one another stand and put on their game faces.

" _Let's go._ " The Director spoke with that authoritative tone, opening the door for her. Both walked down the hall, towards the wing where a certain hero lay under solar lamps turned on to the highest setting. The doctors, nurses and even Alex, had done everything they could medically. At the door now, they stepped inside together, giving their eyes a moment to adjust to the different lighting as well as the warmth from the lamps. Their gazes landed on the bracelet cuff and it's heinous glow of red and green. For a moment, neither could move, too transfixed on the nauseating single restraint straight out of what they could see invented by the mind of a psychotic grisly demented Cadmus scientist. Lena and Alex _had_ to get that thing off her wrist, before death himself was next to hold her captive with no escape from it.

" _Alex.._ " She ran to the wall, to the panel and used a code she somehow knew would work, waiting for the lock to pop and when it did, she flung open the door of it. Immediately, she turned off every single lamp, warranting a look of pure confusion and fury from the Director. " _Look._ " It didn't take long for her wrist to be grabbed and the controls to be reached for, which she shoved Alex away some then snapped her fingers, pointing to the lights, the cuff, then the lights again. " _Red..sunlight._ " The woman seemed to be taking into account what she had just said, but more so _how_ she said it.

" _Dark..ness._ " It hit her like a freight train almost instantly. " _Take out the light._ "

"Grab anything you can get your hands on that has lead in it. We need to enclose her wrist, from hand to wrist, in lead. _Once we do.._ " _Now.._ they were on the right track. They were _listening._ They were _understanding_ and _seeing_ what they needed to, to help the one they would save. _No matter what.._

* * *

_**'Head Above Water' - Olive James** _


End file.
